I want to apologize for not being diligent in being a blogger. The past month has been very busy with the ministry and other personal matters. So what I feel to talk on today goes along with this .
March 25, 2011 I stood in Dr. Koviski office in the Canton Cancer Centre. She told me I had cancer and if not dealt with, would have 2 years to live. I was stunned. Never thought I would hear those words. I had a great job, great seniority in the company, awesome bosses and people I worked with and customers that I a great relationship with. My plans was to work till 65 or longer and then come home with surround myself with family. I was a work alcoholic. 70 to 80hrs a week with great money being made. Had it made, in my opinion.. But on that day, at that moment, my world stopped. There was a pause it seemed for hours but was just a moment. "What do I do now" was the old question I knew to ask. My world has been hit with this news......confused...dazed...afraid....angry...my inner child screamed. Tears came like a flood gate had busted. Then to find out 1 week later I had 2 cancers...kidney cancer and also CLL. I did not know how to cope with. I went to the barber and told him to cut all of my hair off ...was trying to deal with this news. Had called my family and when at work I tried to hid it but it was obvious that something was wrong.
The next few weeks....changes began to take place. Things that I thought was important, was no longer important. Plans and goals faded. Material things became less important. My PRIORITES began to change. First there was what I call a baptism of love. Luke 10:27 ""You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." I remember that a baptism of love came over me. My focus on God was more important than my job or paycheck or material possessions. Prayer and His Word was a priority that had been replaced in the past by friends and joking and just the good old guy that was upbeat and nice to have around because of positive imput. The first and great commandment....concentrate on your relationship with God. Create an intimacy with the heavenly Father. Establish a relationship through the Grace of God. Not on my works or rules or guilt that is created by the Church World....but a relationship of joy with God's Grace that would develop a love relationship. I had governed my relationship with God through guilt driven emotions. Trying to please him with what others told me to do. But my priority became to have a relationship through love not guilt.
The second part was a kicker. "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Hummmmm. It is easy to love someone that treats you well and returns love . But those that start rumors about you, those that talk about you behind your back, those that say mean things to your face, those that smile at you but have a dagger behind you. I got to love them....nooooooooooooooo in my world before. I dont know about you...but I did not like everyone I worked with ...for reasons that had no value. After the baptism, I remember going back to work and hugged all my fellow workers and asked them to forgive me if I had ever said or done anything wrong to them. Told them I loved them and wanted no hard feelings to separate our friendships. Our opinions about others really do not amount to anything. Everyone has their load to carry. Everyone was created different. Everyone one has opinions. Respect is a word needed. God wants us all to get along. Let people be who they are and just love them as I love myself. Reason why church splits..families dont get along....people have not spoken to one another for years. I can honestly say that today I stand before God with a love for everyone and no feelings of animosity.
To those that read this....what are your priorities in life? Mine are as follows God, my wife, my family and friends and Restoration Ministries. What a change from what it was. I feel purpose and that is to Love God with all and My Neighbor as myself.
