The last few months have been very difficult and I have fallen into a deep depression after I asked this question WHY. I thank God that I am coming out of this state with His Help. As many of you know, on April 14th at 7:03 P.M. I lost a great friend and brother in law to Cancer. I would like to go back a few months if I may. Peter had been told that cancer had come back. He was to take some sort of pill to help but felt that God had spoke to him to not to and he was going to trust God for healing. My wife and I moved down four months at the first of the year to help Kathy take care of Peter and also help her with daily chores. We had felt that God wanted us to be intercessor prayer warriors beside them. Peter had just come back from Ontario was going to speak at Church of what a visitation of God he had. The message moved the Church and the alter was filled that night with not a dry eye in the place. He ended his message with the declaration that he spoke life in his body and sang the song "As long as I have breath I will praise the Lord." Tears are in my eyes now as I recall these events. Things got to the point where a bed had to brought in and extra care was need. I stayed beside Peter at night, every night. The memories I will treasure forever. I remember Peter saying to me "Norm, I declare healing into my body. Todd needs me and I have so much yet to do for God. I have a Barnabas Ministry. Son of encouragement. I can not die." We would watch faith programs such as Bill Winston Ministries, Kenneth Copland Ministries, Andrew Womack Ministries and the list goes on. Kathy would daily read faith scriptures to Peter. Faith was in the air. Church prayer meetings was held at the house. Many had visions of Peter walking in the Church. Prophecies was spoken. Many times when the Peter was hurting, Kathy would yell out, come pray quick, and we would pray and God would touch his body. Peter had a desire to go to Church in the evenings. A ramp was made so he could get out of the house into a van. With the help of many people this was done. Easter Sunday would be the last time Peter would be wheeled into the Church in a living state. He got to the point he could not speak but his eyes would show that he recognized what was going on. Faith was spoken by all that came to see him. On April 14th the family had gathered and a great season of prayer. Most of us was sitting in the living room after praying for Kathy. Corey was down reading scripture to his Dad and praying. At 7:03 P.M., Corey came up and whisper to Kathy that Peter had just passed away. A second or two of silence then screams filled the air. Kathy and the family rushed to his side. I heard I hate you cancer and the words no no no fill the room. Crying by all. I stood in unbelief at what had just happened. I texted my family members to tell them what had just happened. The next few seconds, minutes, hours...I can,t explain it all. Looked at a man that had just passed away living in his faith. Many in the next few days offered their encouragement in a sincere way. He is in a better place and now he is not sorrowing now was heard. Dont misunderstand me...this encouragement was appreciated. Kathy and the family along with myself asked the question in the following days WHY
To this I share. I still ask WHY. After Peter had taken the manual which is the Bible and followed all the instructions of placing trust and faith in the Word. Speak to the mountain and it be removed and declare healing and such and the list goes on. Many would say, will God knows our birth and when we will die. I would asked then why do we pray then for sickness. Peter was a walking faith man. I know that many of you have experienced this in your own life of death of individuals that you had prayed for. I recall that when pastoring the Church in Maine, we had a young lady that was dying of cancer and we had prayer chains and prophecy of her healing. Faith was in the air...but Tammy died and left behind a little girl and a wonderful husband. To me the miracle of this healing and Peter's healing would have been one of the greatest testmonies around. What this would do for God's Kingdom would be beyond explanation. I told Sharon a month ago, I dont know if I can ever pray faith over anyone again. I remember one individual was asked to come to the alter for prayer a few years ago. His reply was " No, I have been disappointed to many times before." I know people criticized that man for that statement. But he was hurt in his faith.
God has been working on me in the last few weeks. He brought to remembrance that I was sent home to die last year. But my white blood cells was touched and the count came up. I am still living and in remission. My wife was healed of cancer last year. Then I was impressed with the song that I have placed on this blog. I don't need to understand, I just need to hold his hand." I still ask WHY but I know I can not stay in that state. Discouragement is drifting away as I am desiring to spend more time with God. It is a slow process. To you that are with me in this state....stand up...don't listen to those who say you have no right to feel this way and ask the question. You know what....God understand us and our heart ...and gives us this right to question. Don,t let it ruin your faith in God.
