LONELINESS

I was talking to a great friend the other day and he has retired ... I asked him how he was doing.  He felt alone.  The wife response was she never liked the ministry....why was the question.  Response was...never felt good enough for others of her peers.  Felt alone.  I was heart stricken and very heavy in my spirit as I tried to reach out to them with words of encouragement.  The Body of Christ fails in this area to comfort such because of cliques and that have  never reached to the approval level of those that have "made a name" of themselves.

During the time between age of 43 and 50..I experienced such. This is a universal human emotion.  Has no single common cause.  Loneliness causes one to feel empty, alone and unwanted.  They crave human contact but often expect rejection.  They feel that there are no real friends..just faces that pretend to be.  No acceptance in society.  Not satisfied with their life and no one understands them.  Not accepted for their choices in life and people find it fun to criticize when they have no clue as to who they are.  Often this state of mind can lead to depression.

I had found that I did not like who I was, and when with others...I was distracted from my ugliness but when the crowd was gone.  The feeling of loneliness took over.  A panic feeling would come on me.  Alone in my apartment was the worst feeling.  I would go to what they had back then..telephone chat lines...and talk with people that helped to fill the void.  Behavior patterns would change in order to fill this void.  I did not like me...and who I was...and needed to be distracted in order to survive.   7 years of this.  I felt like Timothy in 2 Tim 4:16 "no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me"  I found that I would get easily offended and misinterpret  what people said as  personal thing. Would be be in a crowd and all I could feel was I was the only odd person there. ALONE. ALONE. and lonely.  Psalms 25:16 "Turn to me and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and hurting.  My trouble have grown larger, free me..."

Things changed.  I told my self  enough is enough.  I prayed and asked God for help.  He touched my view of myself.  I started to like who I was.  Started to create an atmosphere of positive words and relaxed in my place in life.  Realizing that giving is such a blessing....instead of waiting for someone to bring me hope.  I did not need approval and acceptance.  I liked me.  Was it easy....no.  But self worth.....did it.

To those that read this and are experiencing such a state...it is to you...I reach out in love.  You are special and God has a purpose for you to fulfill.  You are important to me.   You are not alone, God is always with you.....  Trust this helps those that read today, you are in my prayers.